Gray’s Bakery, Kerang

39 Scoresby Road, Kerang

Pie Nation, I’m sure you’ve picked this up by now, but I’ve got a soft spot for the Loddon-Mallee in Victoria. It’s a long way from the coast and the city, so there’s not too many dickheads from the Big Smoke, it’s always at least a few degrees or more warmer than Melbourne (great except in Summer when it ROASTS), and all the towns are a little bit weird.

Kerang does it tough from time to time — the Loddon loves to break its banks there whenever it gets a moment — but it’s solid town with more than the one pub, a decent sized supermarket, and a range of places to stay. Bird lovers love it there because it’s the gateway to the Kerang Lakes. I don’t see the big deal about an Ibis rookery, but if you love a Bin Chicken then maybe it’s the town for you.

Pass through on the right weekend in September and you might catch the local museum doing one of its open days, which seems mostly to be all about local tractor enthusiasts bringing their vintage tractors in for a look don’t touch showing. If you like people who are enthusiastic about niche shit, then put it in the diary.

I find that wherever you go in rural Australia, if you’re looking for a bakery, it’s going to be either on or right by the main drag. Cruise through, drop speed a little bit and keep your eyes peeled and you’re bound to see where the pies and the bread comes from. Not so in Kerang. Gray’s Bakery is hidden away enough that ever now and then I still have to do a few blockeys to find it again.

Don’t worry about that though, because Gray’s is absolutely worth the hunt. There’s a bit of salt in their pies so they make your arteries nice and stiff, and they stay warm for a while, which is ideal if you’re looking for a pie that travels. But if you’re traveling with family, it’s absolutely with stopping for a while so you can let the kids run wild in the enclosed indoor play area.

Outside, there’s a shaded seating area under some parasols. I find this is a great place to watch some of the more advanced-in-years locals rip past in their highly-modded mobility scooters. As an aside, why are we so mad about kids on e-bikes when Old Mate Brian (clearly having recently inhaled a sixy of Bundy and Cola tins) is the more clear and present danger? Anyway, full credit to Brian. I think I saw his car parked at the local Woolies and I couldn’t be more impressed.

Grays also has a decent bain marie of beige treats, a good salad sandwich bar, and a genuine ICEE machine (complete with the dog in the beanie) for pumping out frozen sugar-water when the temperature gets on top of you.